 This
is Steve OTR, Retired Navy 22 years Veteran. Since
Junk Brothers University charged my Montgomery G.I. Bill, 22
times for each year that I was in the Navy, I guess I’ll have to
study a broad to get my G.E.D. That North Korean foreign
exchange student,
Sushi Ting-Mei Ho, that has been tutoring me, says that I
could get my G.E.D. any day now. That’s good because my dog is
chompin-at-the-bit to get a hold of his master’s degree; he
thinks I’m a Roads Scholar. My dog is a German chocolate
po-lease dog. I named my dog “Sour,” because he don’t take to
“Kraut.”
I had a rare surprise
yesterday when
Ernie Fardward showed up, unexpectedly. Ernie car-sat for
me, while I was in Hiatus for two weeks between Christmas and
New Year’s day. Ernie hopped a train and came to join me on my
trip back from the Bermudas. Ernie is a very
resourceful fellow, who knows barrels about the
wine industry. Yesterday he was full of “the spirits of
knowledge.”
He helped Sushi and me
choose a lovely selection of fine
CYA whines to give to my boss, Rich Bossmund, on Super Bowl
Sunday. This year’s Annual Pimp & Ho’s Valentine’s Cotillion is
being held on Super Bowl Sunday at
Rich Bossmund's Exotic Private Condo Resort, because of the
turn down in business that happens on that day.
 We
bought Cisco,
MD 20/20, Night Train, Thunderbird, and Wild Irish Rose. I
know the boss will be pleased. I had to buy two of each wine
so that Ernie could “assay the vintage.”
In fact, Ernie thought it best that we blend
all the wines and assay them together at different intervals.
Judging from the expressions of the tasters, Ernie, came through
again, really.
Sushi gets “frisky” when she assays the vintages. No,
wait. That was my dog, Sour.
Later, Ernie gave us a
lucid dissertation of vintage insights
Fardward's Theorem of Inductive-Obtusive Inebriation:
“In the usual way we construct a curve containing every point in
the woods.
It has been proven:
-
that such a curve can be traversed in an arbitrarily short
amount of time.
2.
Now we traverse the curve, carrying
a liter, in a time less than what it takes the law
to move a distance equal to its own length plus a pint;
stirruped, not shaken.
3.
We'll take cover if the need actually arises.
4.
Remember, the
Mysterious Leaker is still a foot!
5.
This is why we call this area the
protected wetlands."
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