Product Recall Issue of Retraction

 

Penis Enlarger has been mis-used and now must be removed from market place.  There have been several instances of consumers using the patented Penis Enlarger in ways other than the manufacturer's recommended use.  Pictured below, Ivan Pecker, turns in an amazing report to Junk Brothers News, saying “even I have used the PE for other things…” 

 

Ivan says, "this thingy is addictive, and it enlarges my hands too."  In fact, now Mr. Pecker has the "midol" touch, enlarging everything in proximity of his Enlargement tool.  Some people are worried about what could happen if Pecker's handy work got out of hand; and the full extent of the matter is now under the scrutiny of the U.S. Department of Health.

 

The product packaging stresses that most effects are only temporary, and should go away as soon as the lights are turned-off.   However, Junk Brothers News has learned that longer lasting side effects might occur when the device has been operated in the presence of high-intensity luminous objects.   A warning such as "Not Intended for Use by Lunatics or Children, or for Lunatics on Children, or for or by Michael Jackson" may be required with all future purchases of Penis Enlarger.

 

This item was not intended to be used outdoors, however, it seems to work perfect for burning off genital warts with the right amount of sunlight.   The device will be allowed to stay on the market, at least until the Surgeon General is finished testing it.