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New focal meeting point for heroin addicts unveiled.
Report by: Paddy
MeGoolies
New Heroin addicts meeting point unveiled.
The government minister
for drugs and having a good auld time, Charlie MeGreatcraic
officially opens new city centre focal meeting point for heroin
addicts. Locals have nick named it ‘The Needle’.
Mr MeGreatcraic told me
in an interview at the site that ‘This new focal point will not
only help us to keep an eye on the addicts it will help us to
get a real count of how many junkies are in the country and also
a count of tourist addicts who we believe will come from all
over Europe and the rest of the world to see this new focal
point.’
I asked the Minister if
he thought that Dublin, may now be advertised as a place to come
to buy heroin? And why did he ignore the people’s wishes when
they overwhelmingly spoke out against erecting a giant
hypodermic needle right in the middle of the Capitols heart?
When they would rather see the €4 Million euro spent on the
needle, spent on helping heroin addicts or housing the
homeless?
The minister responded
with ‘Well eh, we don’t believe that Dublin will become the new
needle centre of Europe, we can’t afford to give out needles
anymore, the money was spent on building this new fantastic
monument to addicts. And as to the people not wanting this
monument, nobody said anything to me and the homeless…sure they
don’t even bother to go out to vote. Besides it was either this
or build a monument to alcoholics which would have been a giant
whiskey bottle, we didn’t go with this idea as it would have
blocked out sunlight to the city centre and to my office, so we
believe this was the right decision.’
The Giant
Hypodermic needle.
I’m not sure what this
new monument will do for addicts but I know it will be a
constant reminder to all addicts in Ireland, to remind them of
how the government cares about them and also a reminder of their
addiction problem, like they need it. Lets hope the government
don’t decide to erect a 120 foot priest as monument to child
molesting!
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