|
At Sunshine Funeral and Tanning Parlor, your good looks are our main concern.
We’re devoted to providing you with the best looking corpse possible for your departure.
Give yourself that wondrous, healthy glow that only a tan can give you. Bathe in eternal sunshine!
Our exclusive Coconut Embalming Oil provides sunscreen protection, cancels offensive odors, and is guaranteed to last virtually forever!
We’re compassionate about the cost of our quality services and we guarantee you’ll never feel like you’ve been burnt.
You can rest assured knowing that everyone‘s funeral will be pale in comparison to your funeral’s wake and bake.
Whether you're turbo-tanning your pink lady, or coming to terms with the
ultimate loss of a beach, we hope you'll come to our parlor.
There is definitely a jargon for the tanning industry, and if you don't know
your dihydroxyacetone from your tingle - then relax, as we explain all and more
of course!
We under tan sensitivity! SOME LIKE IT HOT!
Our Sunshine tan undertakers are trained tanning morticians; the experts you
need to answer all of your pre-mortem and post-mortem tanning questions!
Our Custom Tanning Beds are manufactured exclusively by BOSSCO®
|
