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From Karl's Cubicle
 KARO,
UPPER EYGPT - Zahi Hawass, director of the Supreme Council
of Egyptian Antiquities issued an impassioned appeal that all
products produced by Egypt during any administration or ownership
should be returned as soon as possible.
"The problem is," explained Hawass, "all these items that have been
sold or smuggled out right under our noses, are suspect. We can no
longer stand behind our own branding. Some are bogus, but most all
of them are defective. That is why we are issuing this recall, so
that we can perform the necessary recursive maintenance."
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, reiterated the unconditional
 recall
later in the day. "One issue may be foremost in our thinking on how
this may have happened and gone unnoticed for so long," explained
Mubarak "and that is we were so sure that the public would
understand how to use these items if they would only read the
directions stamped on each item in non-language
specific hieroglyphics."
"But is obvious that we can not keep up this ruse any longer,"
continued Mubarak,"when it is also obvious that the curses no longer
curse."
"Even the Great Pyramid at Giza is defective, and it is seriously
affecting our trademark and market trust.You know we advertised
these things to have 'Pyramid-Power,' but now that is called into
question by the very fact that these 'resurrection machines' have
yet to get a rise out of anybody's mummy."
No indication has been given about how long recursive maintenance
could be accomplished. However, both Hawass and Mubarak made it very
clear that many Egyptian antiquities were also choking hazards.
Not included in the recall were Rameses condoms, about which Mubarak
claims "the curses just keep coming."
Another curse that is reported to still be in effect is that of
Pharaoh Numbnutz II.
 In
related news, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has obviously split
in his relationship with U.S. President George W. Bush, after the
paparazzi published "embarrassing" photos of Bush holding hands with
Saudi leader, Prince Abdul. This comes even on the heels of Paula
Abdul denying having any sexual relations with that woman, Corey
Clark.
 According
to Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, "I don't care what his
definition of 'IS' is, I have found myself another chic to carry on
at my side!" |
