|
From Karl's Cubicle
 Many
Catholic believers are proclaiming a miraculous sighting of the
virgin Mary when eighteen year olds, Donna-Regina Santa' Maria and
Daven Levi, experienced an "out of pocket" religious experience on
their senior prom date for their alma mater, Our Lady of Perpetual
Motion High School on Cherry Hill.
Daven Levi was not so enthusiastic saying that he'd "bought the
condom in good faith that it could be used and not become a
religious relic."
"I'm Jewish, for Christ's sake!" complained Levi.
Donna-Regina, was quite taken aback when Daven had removed the
condom and was unrolling it, and she saw that it carried the image
of the blessed virgin.
Needless to say, the sight of Mary's image, quickly spoiled the
moment for the two love birds. Ms. Santa' Maria comes from a devout
Catholic home, and she at once knew that the world needed to bear
witness to the sight of the blessed virgin. The fact that she has
24/7 Action Eye Witness News on her speed-dial, probably didn't help
Daven's chances of getting out of a sticky situation.
"I was trying to be a mensch about the matter, but then Donna goes
into a meshugina knish! Who knew that my condom could get this much
attention? I thought Donna-Regina would have self destructed in a
firey ball of guilt and shame, but no. She has to call the press.
Who's next, I asked, the Pope? Cheesus! why couldn't it have been an
image of Elvis? She wouldn't have objected to some Elvis for her
pelvis! I could see that my chances of getting any were toast. That
figures! I throw down big for a hottie, and all I got was this lousy
condom and a runaway prom date! Oye! if I could get a box to put it
in!" exclaimed Levi.
Daven's family has not been this embarrassed since his father, Rabbi
Yankel Levi, won a free Virginia ham at the school's annual
Easter-fest. But the Rabbi Levi is a practical man; "to throw it
away would not seem eco-kosher," he said. "At least Mary was a
Jewish girl; this Donna-Regina, I'm not so sure about."
Despite the throngs of religious pilgrims that are coming by the
schul to view and pay extreme unction to the condom, Rabbi Levi has
decided to auction his son's codpiece on ebay. The starting bid is
to be $28,999.99. |
