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Funny Junk You Didn't Know
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Julia Roberts Skips Out on Duluth Wedding |
By Steve On The Road
 (Duluth,
GA) Oscar wiener Julia Roberts skipped out on a wedding in Duluth,
Ga., and folks there are calling her a "runaway bride."
"I think that she just didn't like the town," said Gwinnett county
sheriff R. L. Butch Conway. "She's awfully snooty," Butch continued,
"she once said that being in Abbeville, South Carolina, while
filming 'Sleeping With The Enemy,' was 'like being in hell.'"
"Hell," said sheriff Butch, "we could overlook that— I mean, after
all, that was South Carolina; but this is Georgia! We don't take
that 'Steel Magnolia' crap. Those people think that they can insult
southern barbecue, because we're all just a bunch of fried green tomaters! Hell yes! I'm pressing charges! I may even reopen that
barbecue case. Although, it would be a cold barbecue case by now."
Sheriff Butch said that he would be charging Julia Roberts with
J-walking to Taos, New Mexico, where she lives with her twins:
Phinnaeus Walter Moder and Hazel Patricia Moder.
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Steve writes from On The Road using a notepad provided by
Rich Bossmund.
Steve has sworn off eating barbecue pixxa until the dust settles. |
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