By Charlie What
 According to Keith Richards, guitarist for
the Rolling Stones and front man for the Cheap Winos, Elizabeth
Jagger, Mick Jagger's daughter, will be singing all of the Linda
McCartney vocals for the Stones' upcoming 2005 tour.
Elizabeth was unavailable for comment, but she did send us this
lovely flash photograph entitled "some girls."
Richards went on to say that he was pleased to be touring again
"as he doesn't get out much any more."
The Stones as they appeared in Shaun of the Dead.
Thanks to the corporate sponsorship of Viagra and the AARP, the
Rolling Stones will soon embark on a world tour and release a new
album.
Richards added that he hopes that Mick doesn't complain as much
in the lyrics for the new album as he has in all of the other ones,
but then he quickly added, "that you can't always get what you
want."
The music industry buzz is that the Stones are touring again for
the money.
 In related entertainment news, Ozzy Osbourne is said to be
grooming daughter Kelly for stardom, by teaching her how to bite the
heads off of pigeons.
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