It had to happen eventually; it couldn't stay cool
up there forever. Now a leading doctor has come forward with the
startling results of how just a degree or two warmer global temperatures
wreak havoc in arctic circles.
According to Dr. Hermey Psilonox, D.M.D., global warming
has now reached a climax that will definitely be observed in the short
term, possibly as soon as this Christmas season.
"Warmer world temperatures have inevitably led to an
expanded growing season," explained Dr. Psilonox, "nature's checks and
balances are now off-center, and it affects everything that happens at
the north pole."
But not everyone agrees with the elfin dentist's
assessment. Kris Kringle, a long-time local pole-sitter, is absolutely
enthused with the toastier climate. "My cannabis crop yields twice as
much as before!" claimed Kris, a.k.a. Santa Claus.
"But that is exactly my point," objected Dr. Psilonox,
"it is one thing to be a jolly old elf one day out of the year, but when
you go about your business high as a kite year around, no wonder you
have to always check your lists twice!"
It may be news to some to hear just what old Saint Nick
has been smoking in his pipe all these years, but it really should come
as no surprise. All the signs have been there all along. Who else is
known to sing about hos and hang-out with the reindeer.
But in all fairness, it should be pointed-out that to go
round-for-round of the kind of milk and cookies that Santa Claus puts
away, would demand a terrific case of the munchies.
But the good elf who helped Rudolph find his way back
home and is now turned a dentist, may just have a point. Particularly
when one considers the time that Santa is spending on playing Texas
Hold'em these days.
And, last but not least, the lameness of the stocking
stuffers that I've been getting lately...
Karl writes from his cubicle when he's not otherwise
hung-over by the chimney without any care.
According to Dr. Hermey Psilonox, D.M.D., global warming
has now reached a climax that will definitely be observed in the short
term, possibly as soon as this Christmas season.
happens at
the north pole."
It may be news to some to hear just what old Saint Nick
has been smoking in his pipe all these years, but it really should come
as no surprise. All the signs have been there all along. Who else is
known to sing about hos and hang-out with the reindeer.
But the good elf who helped Rudolph find his way back
home and is now turned a dentist, may just have a point. Particularly
when one considers the time that Santa is spending on playing Texas
Hold'em these days.