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From Karl's Cubicle
 In what may be this year's biggest stunner, Mixology Scientists
have declared that Red Bulls are responsible for Mad Cows. People
who grew up on dairy farms already are partially aware of how bulls
affect cows. For decades, the color red has been used to taunt the
bulls into fighting; so much so, that now dislike of the color red
may becoming inbred into cattle DNA.
 This sort of conjecture is precisely what may have the cows
fuming. The old adage that you can lead a horse to water, but you
can't make him drink, doesn't hold water here, where we have dairy
cows. Plain and simple, we may be driving those cows to drink. And
what sort of drink would a red bull entail? Certainly not milk. Red
Bull is an energy drink that promises that you may be able to take
the bull by the horns. But if Elsie is a mad cow, well then, that
ain't no bull, but udder ridiculousness.
In their defense, the red bulls say that when they are taken
alone, that they pose no real threat. But
 research suggests that
most Red Bulls are consumed with Jagermeister in a cocktail known as
a Jager-Bomb, which is ruminant of Nagasaki. According to the
Jagermeister label, it is intended for deer, and this leads us to
believe that it may be too wild for our domesticated cows. Perhaps
it's time that the FDA should force the makers of Red Bull and
Jagermeister to print warnings on the labels to the effect that if
used in bomb making as fodder, Mad Cows may happen.
 Use a little brain matter, people. Remember, you herd it here
first.
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