Just days after an embarrassing false pregnancy scare that turned
out to be retained booze, Rich Bossmund overdoses on memory pills.
According to Mr. Bossmund, he couldn't remember if he'd taken a
memory pill, so he kept taking one until now when he remembers
everything.
"This could have dire consequences," cautioned Mr. Bossmund's
chiropractor.
"For instance, now he doesn't remember new math, but remembers
everything about old math."
"Worse yet, he remembers all the episodes of the Lawrence Welk
show, Hai-Karate Aftershave, Brill cream, Tussey deodorant, the
exact amount that he owes the government in back taxes, and how he
first learned to recycle while working in a tampon factory and
pulling some strings to get somewhere; yet, he hasn't the slightest
idea how to program his VCR or rewind his DVDs."
"He can't use email, and he thinks that passwords must be
something intended for government millitary spies."
"However, on the plus side, he says he can 'type faster than kids
can unscramble the song on American Bandstand.'"
"We're really worried that if he doesn't forget some of this
'old' stuff soon, it could become detrimental. Perhaps he might next
remember his real handicap in golf, or believe that Hubert Humphrey
is president. Who knows where this could go?"
"Hold on. What the? He's outside now in a flip cab truck
and it looks like he's pinned against the horn! Somebody either call
911 or a package store!"
