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Intel Mixing IT Up

From Karl's Cubicle

SILICON VALLEY, CALIFORNIA - Seeking to boost its stock on the NASDAQ, Intel announced a whole new microprocessor line. The newest CPU soon to be available from Intel boasts both Hyper-Threading Technology and ITANIUM performance.

The following excerpt from a press release discusses Intel's naming of the new processor and chipset:

At Intel, we believe in Innovation. We're Driven by IT.  We Live by IT.

How did Intel name the Pentium® Processor?
The Intel name of Pentium® is a made up name, much like Lexus or Pepsi. It doesn't really mean anything, it's a name we choose for our family of Intel microprocessors. The reasons for choosing a specific name were complex, but basically we wanted a name that sounded hi-tech, could be trademarked and had the right associations.

Specifically, the Greek word for five is Penta, so since the Pentium® processor was the next generation processor after the 486, we wanted to associate the name with five, hence the ""Pent"" portion of the name.

As you may know from chemistry class, many elements end in ""ium"", (Helium, Uranium, etc). The Pentium® processor is a key element in PC's, hence the ""ium"".

We have extended this innovative way of thinking onto our newest microprocessor family. We began with the legacy of our most powerful server chip, Itanium. To that we've added the Extreme Super Hyper Threading technology: which will cause a single chip to behave as if it were two distinct chips; a multi-personality schizophrenic chip, if you will.

The Intel name for our newest processor is formed from the SHT, of Super Hyper Threading, plus the IT that we live by, the IT of Itanium, and finally the reach of innovation, of going further, beyond the limits of our world, into space, beyond Uranus.

Therefore, we at the Intel family are most please to announce the next generation of processor, the SHITANIUS®.

The Intel SHITANIUS®, requires a new PHISHN chipset, another Intel innovation.

SHITANIUS® processors will initially be available only for network server platforms, and higher end PDA's.

When your computer says that there is are two Intel Inside, you can rest assured that there is at least, one SHITANIUS® to go.
 

Karl writes from his cubicle while flushed with excitement.

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