JBN Beer Recall

Brewery Recalls Flat Beer

NUBEERS,MICHIGAN - Truckloads of recalled flat beer began arriving at the Les Miserable Beer Brewery on Friday. The Wasser Beer Distributor was forced to recall upwards to 80 million cans of beer in what has become America’s biggest beer recall to date. Company spokesman and brewery master Barley Hopps stated “I never seen anything like it, but it’s definitely Flat beer.” The cause of the flat beer has not been substantiated but a yeast virus (Wasser Matteruos U) is suspected. The USDA immediately began inspection of the nation’s top breweries for possible contamination. If the virus has spread to other breweries then a nation wide quarantine may be enacted. A possible connection to Saddaum Hussein’s biological weapons program has beer inspectors fearing for America’s sanity. “Imagine if they attack our nation’s beer breweries. It could be disastrous. Titties without beer? Oh my."

Truck loads of new bubbles were also seen entering the brewery today.