JBN Women Drowns

Elderly Women Drowns in Pond Shortly after Midnight.
Police say it was Too Late to Save Her.

LONGWOOD, FLORIDA - According to Local Police “it was just too late to save her,” Phil Gelly stated. He added, “ if it would have happened around 10 or 11 pm we would have been ready to do something. Hell, after midnight we really don’t do anything around here.” There is currently a debate on exactly what time the incident happened, however, since the police weren’t notified until 12:15 am there is little that can be done. A word to the wise, don’t let grandma stay out playing BINGO past 10:30 or so. The local churches have decided if they can’t complete “The Games” by 10:30 they will make them “ALL NITERS”, and would enforce a “No Pass Out” rule until the law enforcement officers have completed their donut run.