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Hello there! I'm the Newt Gecko. Some of you may
think you recognize me from TV. Well as it turns out, I'm not that
famous Newt at all. But I deliver Newt Fodder.
Just think of me as your Eyewitness Newt, your Eye-in-the-guy Newt,
your Action Newt, and your Breaking Newt, all in one gecko! I do
everything but a Live Newt Cast, and for good reason. I don't have a
fishing license, and don't want to get hooked on fishing!
 In today's report, I'm your Newt on the street; literally. I know
everyone has seen those tiny red sportz cars that go zipping between
the traffic on the freeway. You can tell a lot by someone’s driving
habits. I seen a tiny red sports car
and knew right away he was a doctor; and by the way he was driving
up the ass of the guy ahead, I knew he had to be a proctologist. Wow,
he was catching flies.
Take it from a guy who used to work in the insurance industry,
there's a very good reason why doctors pay more to use high
premiums.
 Speaking of insurance, if you see a white duck, don't give him any
money or credit that is just as good as money. He'll spend it all on
cheap liquor and chicks! Mark my words, he is just Quackers! What is
his advice if you see an accident coming? "DUCK!"
 And what about
Speed-Bumps? WHY? are they always in areas that would
make excellent shortcuts, but you can't go very fast because of
those speed-bumps? They aught to do something about those
speed bumps! Maybe move them to the freeway where everybody is
really exceeding the speed limit.
As you may can guess, I'm a little sore on speed-bumps. You would be
too, if you were me. Have you ever tried to change black and blue
into green? Well at least I have some good newt; I just saved a
bundle by switching to Bossco.
Yeah. A gecko is a newt. Just another newt that made it big. All
that you need to remember about Newt Gecko's Live Newt Feed,
is... "it's not news... it's Newt Fodder!" Son-of-a-duck!
Watch my Video
for more Newt Fodder
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