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Famed relief baseball pitcher for the Angels, and
seventh-inning-stretch superstar, Jesus Savez, has been brokered to
become a pinch-pitcher for the Devil Rays in a new Deep-South piece
deal between the Tampanions and St. Peternites, that is being hailed
as the scratch-off lottery ticket to peace.
Tamponions have long demanded that St. Peternites end their
occupation of their ancestral lands of Tampastine as well as the
holy lands along the Bay strippers.
Likewise, St. Peternites are demanding that Tamponions recognize
their country's (around St. Petersburg) right to exist.
For years there has been a no-win situation and now St. Petersburg's
city council is threatening to annex Tampa for it's lucrative tax
base, Phat Ho’s Korean Pizzaria, and country-club. A move that many
political pundits say would be a bread-basket for St. Petersburg.
Tamponions have been resisting with their Tampa Defense Forces (TDF)
which just today were involved in yet another incident due to the
TDF's detaining a band of St. Peternites who had made a religious
pilgrimage to Weenie Heaven to gather holy water, and cheesy dogs.
But the Devil Rays baseball team hope they have found a solution for both sides
with their recent acquisition of Jesus Savez, a free-agent.
But the earth-shattering contract is complex and no grand slam, and
St. Petersburg's mayor did not foresee the issue going anywhere near
the baseball park.
“I just think it’s unlikely,” the mayor said. “There are too many
intricacies involved. And besides that, no one has called me from
the dug-out. No
one. I think I would’ve been on deck and heard about any new ground
rule double by now.”
When asked for a comment, Jesus Savez said of the mayor, "he's a
rookie of little faith and less knowledge of baseball."
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