Funny Junk You Didn't Know
Cabbage-Patch Kids Demand Equal Rights.
From Karl's cubicle: "Twenty-Somethings" from the Cabbage-Patch generation of the mid-Eighties are complaining that they are being discriminated against in the nation's job-market. The "Patchers," as some analysts are calling generation "Cabbage," don't seem to mix well with new corporate "Front-Office-Appearance" sensibilities.
"I was basically kicked to the curb," recounted Theo, a twenty year old "Patcher" speaking about his treatment when applying for a job at Weenie Heaven. "They called me 'cabbage-head,' and threatened me with a salad-shooter!" "They didn't mince words, but I took it they were about to mince me! My whole self-image is now in shreds!" Some "Patchers" have sought the help of professional head-hunters, but the results have not always been a pleasant experience for the Cabbage-Patch kids. No matter what brand of window dressing that industry spin-artists pour on, the fact remains that the Cabbage-Patch kids are not getting the same treatment as typical back street boys or other new kids on the same chopping block. "How wilt things change?" mused Theo, "I don't relish the thought! My beef is: why doesn't the government pas slaws to protect us? It really gets me pickled!" The only hope for "Patchers", at present, comes from a report of statistics which show that the "Cabbages" have a history of success when working with new-borns. Perhaps these facts will stimulate new job growth in a garden-variety of nursery businesses that are still in their infancy. Karl eats in his cubicle. He always orders baskets "without slaw," so they'll give him extra flies.