Funny Junk You Didn't Know
Local Hog Farmer Complains How Everybody Rides His Ass.
by Steve On The Road.
Harley Davidson is boss of his own hog farm, but he's exhausted from
screaming and keeping an eagle eyed watch both night and day on his
ass patch. Crazy gangs of outlaw wannabe donkey-hote's have taken
to riding his ass, and he is not a happy camper.
"It really cheeses my big ole butt!" bellowed Davidson, as he
furtively tapped his finger on a tire iron. "I'd like to club every
one of those fatboy sportsters right in the choppers!"
The law has also seemingly turned a deaf ear by taking no stock to
Harley's trials. Since Harley runs a legitimate hog trade, they
assumed that he was also the local burro dealer. "My ass is NOT
for sale!" thundered Harley
Harley Davidson's King of The Swine-lers business is located right
on the interstate frontage road. The "For Sale" sign that is
mounted on a rod extending from his trailer, refers to the big pigs
which idle wet and muddy, with gaping mouths ready to eat anything,
bad or good. Meanwhile, Harley's ass patch lies on an adjacent
piece of ground separated by a chicken wire fence and some bush
hedges. Although Harley doesn't keep his pin locked, his ass rarely
pokes through by accident unless someone widens the crack.
However, all too often Harley hears the shrek of his bleating
ass whenever some young thick-headed city slickers or urban
cowboys or babes in pigtails want to have a Mexican parade on
his mound, and at his ass's expense.
"I hate to be extreme," stressed the hairy porker of a
businessman. "But someone's got to teach these teens an
appreciation of other people's assets. If one of these wild
riders takes a notion to pull my ass into a stunt out on the
freeway, especially if not wearing a helmet, I could get sued or
my ass could get trapped in a crash, or worse; it'd really burn
out my ass."
So far to his credit, Harley Davidson has applied restraints
whenever he gives these chaps the boot. "I tell you what
though," proffered the pig man, "if these hooligans continue to
bang up my ass, they'll know it--- I'm raising a giant wild wart
hog fattened on fried green tomatoes; and in the future, well
let's just say that there might be some of Harley Davidson's
interstate barbeque roadkill for sale."
Tourist riding the ass of Harley Davidson.