Funny Junk You Didn't Know
The Origin and History of Wings and Ale.
Many people that we meet these days all have the mistaken idea about how
wings and ale became a popular pastime. Contrary to popular belief, that
mankind's infatuation with saucy chicken wings began in Buffalo, New York; and
hence the term: buffalo wings; nothing could be more blatantly far from the
truth. Recent archeological discoveries indicate the presence of wings and ale
wherever great civilizations developed. In fact, more and more scientists are
positing that civilization is not possible without wings and ale, as
anthropological indicators exist which equates wings and ale as one of man's
most basic needs. One of the first historical written evidence of wings and ale
occurs in the ancient Egyptian dynasty of Pharaoh Nutsak Amenhotstep Wingankh
Budamen Toopee, the son of Pharaoh Numbnuts III. Budamen Toopee, for short, has
been criticized by some scholars for keeping all of his royal jewels in one
cartouche; this is where we get today's proverb: "don't keep all of your eggs in
one basket." More about Nutsak, later... The Egyptian word i'bnr'in hieroglyphs,
and the determinative of the beer jug were used in words associated with beer __
short for 'beer', or 'tribute', or 'to be drunk', and also as 'food and drink.'
Beer in the morning, beer in the afternoon and beer at night. A little wine
thrown in for good measure. And after a hard day of cutting stones for the
pharaoh, time and energy left for a bit of hanky-panky. It is now believed that
the classic "walk like an Egyptian" dance depicted on countless
Egyptian
edifices is actually depicting a popular chicken dance, much like the our fad
dances of today such as the "Funky Chicken," and the "Macarena." Traditionally,
beer was regarded as a female activity as it was an off-shoot of bread making -
the basis of the beer were loaves of specially made bread. It is clear that the
worshipers of Bast, Sekhmet and Hathor got drunk on beer as part of their
worship of these goddesses, because of their aspect of the Eye of Ra. Tenenit
was another ancient Egyptian goddess of beer. Although many fossilized chicken
wings have been uncovered throughout the whole world, the Egyptians went so far
as to mummify wings for entombment in the pyramids, along side of countless jugs
of ale, otherwise known as beer. Various stella of history all speak of the fall
of Pharaoh Nutsak. This occurred mainly to his possessions of so much wings and
ale. The invading conquerors were all fierce warriors from the North, possibly
Scythian hunters, who some have speculated, carried away from Egypt, the
appetite of the "gods"__ wings and ale. These recipes were closely guarded,
passing from one secret society such as the Knights of the Templars, and others.
Legend suspects that Leonardo Da Vinci, only stumbled upon Mona Lisa's enigmatic
smile after she enjoyed a repast of his famous sfumato (smokey) chicken wings
and Gorgonzola cheese spread. As the Grand Master of the Priori of Sion,
Leonardo would have had access to the recipe, and many people believed that he
believed that the dish would bring anyone great fortune and fame. Leonardo
therefore codified the recipe and placed it in a special locked canister so that
if anyone who did not know the combination, tried to open the cask, the recipe
would be destroyed. At some point, possession of the guarded secret documents
was entrusted to a group of friars who wish to remain anonymous. The friars
modified the recipe by converting the cooking process from roasting to deep
frying. Finally, the recipe landed in the hands of the famous
Greek-letter
fraternity known as I Felta Thye. These brothers magnanimously pledged that
wings and ale should be returned to the hunters who first had taken the recipe
from Pharaoh Nutsak, and this was because that the Nutsak's had not left a
forwarding address. So they bestowed the wings and ale order, which was freed
now for the masses, onto the first hunter that they found. You guessed it. That
first hunter was actually a buffalo hunter close to the end of the eighteen
hundreds. As the great herd were dying out, the hunter had to peddle wings off
in the place of buffalo, and forever now hence: buffalo wings. And we today who
inherit wings and ale, know it, and love it, and want some more of it. And why
not? Are we not civilized? YES WE ARE