Ators Trips and Falls

Actor Trips and Falls

Commenting only that he was "likely to be disconcerted by... hiatuses of thought," a bewildered newz editor is still reeling at the possibility of being faced with stupendous lawsuits, resulting from a major celebrity's fall, earlier today, just outside of the editor's studio.

The unsuspecting editor, Chas Laser, runs the Junk Bros. News studio from an internet pod by the gulf of Mexico. The artist in question, is none other than the motion picture, mega-media star, Spongebob Squarepants, whose first box office blockbuster theatrical feature opened to great audience and critical acclaim in the summer of 2004.

Jimmy Neutron, speaking on behalf of Mr. Squarepants, stated that "Spongebob is loved by millions and adored by children of all ages... There's not a jury anywhere which would side against Spongebob, unless of course, if the jury was made up exclusively with the religious far right. It should be a watertight case; a slam-dunk!"

Possibly incriminating himself, the editor went on to say: "I thought I had Spongebob Squarepants squarely in my browser. He lives in a pineapple under the sea. Sponges are not supposed to slip unless they're pushed. I wiggled my mouse, and the next thing I know is he's tripped and fallen and can't get up! I never intended to be negligée about his safety. I squish it never happened!"

Laser was then quickly advised by his employer to not be "such a drip," and to "shut [his] pie-hole."

"Just my luck," lamented Rich Bossmund, Laser's employer. "They cut out the phone, and who do we get? Russell Crowe? No! We get Spongebob Squarepants! Well, we'll just have to wait until he comes to, and see if he's porous or against us."