Dis Shoocky Razor reprortig from China Ho Ping provrince. Now I gaw down in mine, rooking fo noos taw gaw on Yunk Broz Noos. Many very accidentals happen in Chinese mines get bloken. Bossmund get hoppig mahd! He say gaw havre a rook see. But can see naw ting. Mine is very very dark. Next time, uh Shoocky Razor reprortig from a stripper mine. Rots more to shee fo Peking. But I cantonese. Okay? Shoocky hughngewree fo boofate. Many apologies fo bad a raceptsions. Hahd taw boost shignal awt of coal mine. Hey Shras Razor, yaw kin tsanks me rator!

Chucky Razor reports the news for Mandarin, Szechuan, and Cantonese from Anhui, Fujian, Gansu, Guangdong, Guizhou, Hainan, Hebei, Heilongjiang, Henan, Hubei, Huguang, Hunan, Jiangsu, Jiangxi, Jilin, Liaoning, Qinghai, Shaanxi, Shandong, Shanxi, Sichuan, Yunnan and Zhejiang. Razor is JBN's secret Asian street reporter. News chief Rich Bossmund understands Asian fruently.