Pending notification of next of kin, the Department of Homeland Security is withholding the name of a student charged with committing a biological terrorist act in the release of "killer" wasps. The University he attends may also be in jeopardy according to an unidentified DHS spokesperson.

It is now feared that the wasps in question will convert other wasps, as well as produce unnatural wasp offspring.

"These scent-sensitive killer-wasps have been trained to dope and plant diseases, explosives, and can even detect diseases such as cancer, all from the odors in a person's breath or buried bodies," explained a USDA official.

The project was code-named: WASPHDBS - Wasp High Definition Bling Sting.

The university's scientists were working on using trained wasps to replace dogs for sniffing out dope, as well as bombs and bodies. These duties normally fell to the university's canine mascot. Man's best friend, which can require up to six months of training at a cost of about $15,000 and countless bags of ice, can now be put to nobler uses such as crapping on football fields.

The reaction to the news of killer-wasps afoot was fleeting. Innocent Bystander, a local man on the street, said "They can train wasps to plant deceases eh? Well, somewhere a mad scientist is rubbing his hands in glee or soap or glue or something much less expensive but probably more perverse."

Possibly thousands of killer-wasps were released by the student who became crazed after ingesting the contraband used to train the wasps.

The incest infestation consequences may be dire:

Wasps trained to sniff cocaine may also pick pockets to get the dollar bills necessary to roll;
Wasps trained to sniff marijuana or pot may binge from the munchies;
Wasps trained to detect cancer by the odor in a person's breath may become choking hazards;
 Wasps trained to plant diseases may ruin legitimate crops in the process;
Wasps trained to replace dogs may ravenously attack mailmen.

More mainstream terrorists organizations wish they could take credit for the disaster, and expressed anger since "the W.A.S.P. always get all the credit for new innovations" Scientologists immediately took issue with the terrorists' stance, citing "without the AS ancestry, then you're just a WP and not a WASP at all, illegal aliens or otherwise, maggots!"

The Vatican, always distrustful of scientific experimentation, issued a dogma condemning killer-wasps' birth control using dogs. According to a Vatican insider, the Pope wrung his hands, lamenting that "they're always bitching and bugging me about something!"

Authorities said the crazed student responsible for releasing the swarm had no comment to his defense of which he was still tweaking.

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Karl writes from his cubicle and gets allergic smelling hey!