New Kid Gambling Controversy

Denominations Threatened By "New Kid" Gambling Controversy

Big Gambling has come home to roost in St. Petersburg with recent announcements of major commercial endorsements and no-limit high-stakes take-out tournaments within the gaming community.

ShuffleBoard, always a competitive sport requiring skill, strategy and grueling athleticism, is now featuring the "new kids of gambling" pulling all-nighters; where you can bet your sweet bippy that there's more than just a little shoving going on.

The new darlings of the casino-royale set often prove to be big-time hustlers, and more than just a few fish find themselves in the hole. "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen," is what they say before upping your ante.

Whether you dress to the left or to the right when it comes to gambling, you can bet that the big denominations are coming down hard on no-limit extreme ShuffleBoard: nickels, tenors and even c-notes are all riding on who makes the kill dead line on a roll.

X-treme ShuffleBoard is all about having the nerve and not ending up sucker's hide in Suicide Alley's drift (Tampa & St. Petersburg). Shuffling craze "The bigger they are, the harder they fall," claims hot percentages player, "Dank" Jalisco. He wagers all of his winnings on-line, or on the line, as they say.

Rumors abound that both Depends and Ensure will battle to sponsor Dank whenever the St. Pete Shuffling craze hits the rest of the nation, or goes international. But according to his one-time partner, Edna Peters, "Dank is Ben Gay all the way." So most odds-makers are handicapping Dank because of his separation triangle.

But who can forget last year when on the final round "Dank" took a pot shot to put Sherry 'all in' the gutter back of the kitchen? He may start cold until gets his first nibble when sticking out, but he soon jockeys his stroke to bait his opponent into making a desperation shot. Although most players are heavily medicated for your protection, religious leaders are still condemning the frenzied action that goes on in play as taking people away from church and bingo.

"Some of the strips are spotty," says Dank, "but most of the time no lubrication is needed."

Prune Rum Smoothies also seem to be safely in bed with the new shuffle and beat. Entire nest-eggs may be in jeopardy.